Today's Phenomenal Faith Foundation for the Fundamentally Ridiculous 'lol' shout out of the day goes to Ridiculous couples... lol at you guys. For all of those sitting at home wondering if you are in a ridiculous relationship and you'd like to know if you're lol worthy, here's how to tell:
If you had thoughts, more thoughts, and second thoughts about your relationship (a result of your not wanting their bf/gf to find out about you guys and/or waiting on them to break up with their bf/gf) lol @ u!
If you've ever used the phrase "he/she's not that bad" not arguing with anyone but re-asssuring yourself about them lol@ u!
If you try not to look at them and you know others do too lol @ u!
If ppl compare you to pinky and the brain or the number ten when you're together lol @ u!
If they havent told anyone about you yet or you just can't seem to mention them to anyone lol @ u! (secret relationships are not ok)
If just can't seem to remember why you like them lol @ u!
If you've broken up more than once today lol @ u!
If you met on celebreality lol lol rotfl @ u!
Lastly, If you see nothing wrong with Christina Milan and the Dream, Nick and Mariah, Kanye and Amber, Branjelina, lol @ u! Maybe you're currently unattached rught now, and maybe you don't feel you fit any of the other examples but as a supporter of ridiculous relationships, you also are lol worthy
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Do You Matter?
First of all, I'd like to acknowledge my post, I follow Brian's youthube channel (you should too)... In my daily youtubage I happened to come across the disturbing news that Keri Hilson done gone out and "dissed" Beyonce and Ciara. Obviously she hasn't figured out where exactly her place is yet, lol what was she thinking?
I am, by far, not at all a Beyoncebot fan... or Beemachine as I like to call her. Not that her music isn't great just that I prefer a more raw, less politically correct bunch. [L boogie (lauryn hill), Kanye, Common, India Arie...] That, and somewhere surrounding that little issue Beemachine seems to struggle with about saying she wrote songs that she didn't, I may have lost some love for her. Although I question the honesty of her "character" I always have been the type to respect another woman's hustle and to encourage people to stay in their place. The same goes for Ciara (plus the girl can dance)
That being said, I am inclined to ask, Keri WTF were you thinking? I mean really. Did you really think that somehow your insignificant career would provide you with the muscle necessary to hold you own againce the Beyoncebot? Just because you played third wheel tag along on a little tour, and performed a couple songs with Timbaland (whose own career is in danger if he puts out just one more hip hop/techno album lol) doesn't mean people just gone back you up no matter what. As an artist it is imperative that you realize what things/people are in and out of your league. In other words, stay in your place. I think somewhere in being an opening act Keri must've thought the large crowds of people were actually there to see her raggety tail end perform song that no one knows because she doesn't have an album yet... Hey Keri, opening acts are people who get paid to keep fans busy until the good partg starts. We so did not come to see you at all. What's worse is that since Beyonce is a pop all star and you are an aspiring pop artist, in attacking her your just pushing potential fans away. People that like pop LOVE Beyonce, you should be trying to butter her up because if she doesn't like you her fans won't either- duh! If my logic isn't working for you then just think of this: Beyoncebot could end you. I've been sitting here, straining my mind, trying to remember that 4th member of Destiny's child (not LeToya, she made a comeback... sorta) and can not remember her to save my life... That could be you.
In light of Keri Hilson's mistake I'd like to make an impromptu lol shout of the day on behalf of The Phenomenal Faith Foundation for the Fundamentally Ridiculous for all of those who haven't quite figured out that they do not matter... lol @ u guys.
If you leave for over an hour and no one notices, you don't matter
If you have their number and they don't have/want your, you don't matter
If people seem to always be struggling to "put a name with a face" when they see you, you don't matter
If you have beef with someone that wasn't even there when it started and had find out about it from someone else, you don't matter
If you decided to date Bret Michaels or Flava Flav, and it wasn't secret, you don't matter
If you're sitting at home thinking "who is she to say who does and does not matter?", you don't matter. Never have, never will... mind your own unimportant business you insignificant raggety mofo
If you aren't sure if you matter, you may not matter
If you constantly comment on others' lives with sentences that start like, "uh uh, if i was you i would...", you don't matter. Get a life you backseat driving bum
Saturday, March 28, 2009
phreshdressedness
phreshdressedness- the amount of phreshness occuring from the awesomeness of ones attire, deriving directly from the level of effortlessness necessary to impeccably clothe and primp oneself in preparation for the duties of the day.
To be phreshdressed, Getting phreshdressed, Having phreshdressedness, ANT raggety, of poor quality, unattractive, ungroomed be phreshdressed,
To be phreshdressed, Getting phreshdressed, Having phreshdressedness, ANT raggety, of poor quality, unattractive, ungroomed be phreshdressed,
THE PHENOMENAL FAITH FOUNDATION FOR THE FUNDAMENTALLY RIDICULOUS
I sat at home, in front of my PC (that's right I'm a PC America) as I sometimes do. I logged on to my myspace account, sounds typical right? I thought so too. Then, I saw it, a picture of her. A twenty-something girl (who shall remain nameless... for now) standing there in a gross outfit that included a sweatshirt, t shirt, and tennis shoes all the same color- completely under-dressed for her age, with the caption, "I'm so Flyy". Although I was immediately disgusted and upset all I could do is laugh. Yes, lol at her! What were you thinking? YOU BUM! It seems absolutely ridiculous that someone who is almost thirty could fail to realize the necessity of being well- dressed. There is no way and no one who could explain to me when and how this pic and caption could be considered anything less than tacky.
My next step was calling Teej, my conspiracy guru, and as we conversed I realized, Although I could sit back and do nothing,it's up to me to do my part to make the world a better place so I decided to start a foundation. I call it THE PHENOMENAL FAITH FOUNDATION FOR THE FUNDAMENTALLY RIDICULOUS- we're here to help. The plan is to offer help and restoration for the ridiculous souls looking for help... I'm gonna start slow with 'lol shout out of the day' and 'PSA' to end a helping hand, maybe one day upon seeing someone ridiculous you can point them in the direction of an office near them for assistance.
THAT BEING SAID HERE IS OUR FIRST 'LOL SHOUT OUT OF THE DAY'
The Phenomenal Faith Foundation for the Fundamentally Ridiculous 'lol' shot out of the day goes to: Everyone out there (21+) that belives they've actually put an outfit together that includes a hoodie, shoes, and t shirt the same color. That is THE anti- phreshdress decision! LOL at you guys! (see phreshdressedness)
Lets just make it a an if then statement: IF you have on a blue shirt, blue jacket, and blue tennis shoes THEN you are not phresh so stop saying you are! YOU are soo "dressed down" right now, what you are wearing is classified as what we in the well- dressed population call a slum-fit.
Try this, remove the hoodie and add a grown up jacket like a trench, peacoat, or leather jacket. Replace that shirt with a basic black, white, or neutral colored shirt... now those shoes make a splash and you look less ridiculous.
My next step was calling Teej, my conspiracy guru, and as we conversed I realized, Although I could sit back and do nothing,it's up to me to do my part to make the world a better place so I decided to start a foundation. I call it THE PHENOMENAL FAITH FOUNDATION FOR THE FUNDAMENTALLY RIDICULOUS- we're here to help. The plan is to offer help and restoration for the ridiculous souls looking for help... I'm gonna start slow with 'lol shout out of the day' and 'PSA' to end a helping hand, maybe one day upon seeing someone ridiculous you can point them in the direction of an office near them for assistance.
THAT BEING SAID HERE IS OUR FIRST 'LOL SHOUT OUT OF THE DAY'
The Phenomenal Faith Foundation for the Fundamentally Ridiculous 'lol' shot out of the day goes to: Everyone out there (21+) that belives they've actually put an outfit together that includes a hoodie, shoes, and t shirt the same color. That is THE anti- phreshdress decision! LOL at you guys! (see phreshdressedness)
Lets just make it a an if then statement: IF you have on a blue shirt, blue jacket, and blue tennis shoes THEN you are not phresh so stop saying you are! YOU are soo "dressed down" right now, what you are wearing is classified as what we in the well- dressed population call a slum-fit.
Try this, remove the hoodie and add a grown up jacket like a trench, peacoat, or leather jacket. Replace that shirt with a basic black, white, or neutral colored shirt... now those shoes make a splash and you look less ridiculous.
Monday, March 2, 2009
"The Book"
It's time folks! .... took a long time too but, alas, I'm ready to for real get this blog show on the road. What may have caused me to change my lazy ways? Facebook. (and its amazing drama).
First things first, before I can even get into the amazingly dramatical [(c) Flava Flav] story that pushed me into sharing tales of my life with you all (btw you're welcome for that), there are a few things that I feel about "The Book" that need to be confessed. Numero Uno, If you are in your 30s and you are STILL on facebook, and you are no longer in school, it's time to change your life. I am 19 and very tired of having to deny friend requests of you spooky do nothings. I can't help but wonder how it is that you are not way too busy to spend your days lazing about online, conversing with your 15 year old friends. This brngs me to my next point, who's decision was it to allow these toddlers to get on the book? Who ruined everything for all of us? There was a time when I could just approve a request blindly, knowing that the person whom I was approving would not cause me to regret my decision but here we are. Everytime I turn around these little piss ants are requesting me and I find myself becoming quite the investigator, I have to find out a few things before confirming a request, "Did/will this person graduate high school before 2010? (which is a stretch)" "Was this person born before 1979?" "Is this a creeper?" "Is this a promoter?" "Can this person spell?", I know that one seems crazy but ther is nothing more annoying than those random people that have the oustanding ability to completely misspell their entire status. Speaking of statuses, I have an ought with those as well.
I hate when: People use all kinds of S+uPiD 5y^^b0Ls.., FOR WHAT? Get a job and a hobby please. I'd feel much better if you had something better to do than to figure out the best way to say that you are doing absolutely nothing using the least amount of letters possible.
AND
People who decide to update us on the status of their ridiculous relaitonships. i.e. "Susie Johnsboo Brown is back in love" or "...is glad we aint together no more", "...can't believe he cheated with that hoe, me and my cousins will be kickin dat @** tuesday"... Hey Rat! We don't care about your raggety relationships issues! Never have cared! All your doing is providing the rest of us with more reason to be disgusted with you and your unimportant 'boo'.
These are only few of my problems with the state of the book. It's a love/hate relationship. lol. Which brings me back to initial issue, my reason I'm hiding out from the book right now... It all started a year ago, yes an entire year. So, last year I met my good friend (we'll call him Dubbs) and began to spend about half of my free-tme with him and my best friend Teej. Dubbs, who I've found to be completely hostile like most east coast guys are, has a young woman who, for the purpose of anonimity we'll just call soandso (plus idk her name). Anywho, she's he's biggest fan (shot out to soandso lol) and since we spent so much time kickin' it last year, she's taken to disliking me. I know, crazy right? So, apparently she wants him to be her booskee again and he in response just completely ignores her texts and calls, it's cus he's ridiculous, anyways, somehow in our many excursions she's come to find out who I am, an not only that, she's had one of her friends request me as a friend on the book, and me seeing she was from OSU didn't research her thinking she was safe. Sound crazy yet? Well, the fun hasn't began. She began stalking my page and sending him messages about me. Yes! She has so little to do that she was willing to jump through these hoops to get him back... btw he's not that great lol seriously.
Though I found soandso disturbing, what really disgusted me was that the most hostile man I know 'opt'ed not to attack her because he feels "bad" for her. That's right, this guy was comfortable telling me he wasn't going to say anything to her because he pitied her desparation and didn't want to hurt her. At first I had the femme reaction, "WHAT? HURT HER??" Then I had the "phenomenal response", laughter. How sad is it if an angry guy won't attack you of of pity?
Yeah soandso, it's time for you to change your life, you've caused me to temporarily allow my relationship with the book to be suspended.... You know what's weird though, I'm not really upset about it, I know, it suprised me too...
First things first, before I can even get into the amazingly dramatical [(c) Flava Flav] story that pushed me into sharing tales of my life with you all (btw you're welcome for that), there are a few things that I feel about "The Book" that need to be confessed. Numero Uno, If you are in your 30s and you are STILL on facebook, and you are no longer in school, it's time to change your life. I am 19 and very tired of having to deny friend requests of you spooky do nothings. I can't help but wonder how it is that you are not way too busy to spend your days lazing about online, conversing with your 15 year old friends. This brngs me to my next point, who's decision was it to allow these toddlers to get on the book? Who ruined everything for all of us? There was a time when I could just approve a request blindly, knowing that the person whom I was approving would not cause me to regret my decision but here we are. Everytime I turn around these little piss ants are requesting me and I find myself becoming quite the investigator, I have to find out a few things before confirming a request, "Did/will this person graduate high school before 2010? (which is a stretch)" "Was this person born before 1979?" "Is this a creeper?" "Is this a promoter?" "Can this person spell?", I know that one seems crazy but ther is nothing more annoying than those random people that have the oustanding ability to completely misspell their entire status. Speaking of statuses, I have an ought with those as well.
I hate when: People use all kinds of S+uPiD 5y^^b0Ls.., FOR WHAT? Get a job and a hobby please. I'd feel much better if you had something better to do than to figure out the best way to say that you are doing absolutely nothing using the least amount of letters possible.
AND
People who decide to update us on the status of their ridiculous relaitonships. i.e. "Susie Johnsboo Brown is back in love" or "...is glad we aint together no more", "...can't believe he cheated with that hoe, me and my cousins will be kickin dat @** tuesday"... Hey Rat! We don't care about your raggety relationships issues! Never have cared! All your doing is providing the rest of us with more reason to be disgusted with you and your unimportant 'boo'.
These are only few of my problems with the state of the book. It's a love/hate relationship. lol. Which brings me back to initial issue, my reason I'm hiding out from the book right now... It all started a year ago, yes an entire year. So, last year I met my good friend (we'll call him Dubbs) and began to spend about half of my free-tme with him and my best friend Teej. Dubbs, who I've found to be completely hostile like most east coast guys are, has a young woman who, for the purpose of anonimity we'll just call soandso (plus idk her name). Anywho, she's he's biggest fan (shot out to soandso lol) and since we spent so much time kickin' it last year, she's taken to disliking me. I know, crazy right? So, apparently she wants him to be her booskee again and he in response just completely ignores her texts and calls, it's cus he's ridiculous, anyways, somehow in our many excursions she's come to find out who I am, an not only that, she's had one of her friends request me as a friend on the book, and me seeing she was from OSU didn't research her thinking she was safe. Sound crazy yet? Well, the fun hasn't began. She began stalking my page and sending him messages about me. Yes! She has so little to do that she was willing to jump through these hoops to get him back... btw he's not that great lol seriously.
Though I found soandso disturbing, what really disgusted me was that the most hostile man I know 'opt'ed not to attack her because he feels "bad" for her. That's right, this guy was comfortable telling me he wasn't going to say anything to her because he pitied her desparation and didn't want to hurt her. At first I had the femme reaction, "WHAT? HURT HER??" Then I had the "phenomenal response", laughter. How sad is it if an angry guy won't attack you of of pity?
Yeah soandso, it's time for you to change your life, you've caused me to temporarily allow my relationship with the book to be suspended.... You know what's weird though, I'm not really upset about it, I know, it suprised me too...
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