Saturday, January 31, 2009
Fading Grey
I see the world in technicolor. Filled with bright yellows, radiant oranges, the most vibrant of reds, royal of blues, and deep of purples. I am black and white, slowly fading to grey. When the morning awkens me I look in a mirror at all of the color behind me, then at myself staring back like a blemish. One dark mark on a gorgeous, colorful, silk garment. It never bothered me before that I was black and white in a world full of color for these extremities include all color. I felt that I was a representation of all color, and at the same time a vast contrast to the rest of the world, always recognizable, always different. I was unlike anyone else, not a shade of red or blue. I was all or nothing. Then, one day, awkened by sunlight I arose and ritualistically looked into the mirror and could see my black and white self fading at the seams. Where there once existed harsh lines between the light and dark areas that made me, I now included shades of grey. Perplexed by my plight I went ahead with my day, only slighty melancholy. I pretended I did not see myself fading and continued for weeks as best I could. It was not long before I reached a point at which I could no longer ignore my fading self and decided to sit alone thinking until I found either a reason and solution, or strength and acceptance. No sooner than I began thinking did I realize that maybe I was fading as a result of the "usual". I had been doing the same thing daily, I looked for nothing new, I expected everything to be the same as it was before. I was a prisoner of the "usual", trapped in day to day rituals. Hope, goals, and dreams had become a scarcity and so, surrounded by color,I stood, black and white- fading grey.
I Remember...
I remember...The days when companies used terms like "the other guys" when advertising their products. Somehow within the last few years things have gotten pretty gully, mcdonalds vs burger king vs wendys, advil vs tylenol, every brand for itself! I was immediately disturbed by Advil’s decision to attack Tylenol pm. I use Tylenol and its not that bad. I felt attacked like Advil was pretty much saying "hey you’re stupid if you don’t use our brand". I mean even car insurance companies are just calling each other out. I just watched allstate try to get at geico... now geico has to retaliate or they’re going out like punks.... what is the world coming to?? Why so cut-throat?? At the rate we’re going aunt jemima is gonna be wrestling mrs butterworth next week, and toucan sam will be taking pecks at cap’n crunch!
The days when you could sit back and watch a good old American game of cat n mouse on a monday morning. Where are all of the ’chase’ shows I used to watch. (Every once in a while a girl just wants to watch a bird blow up a coyote, or a mouse drop a piano on a cat)I love japanimation as much as the next person, I swear I do (some of the best art I’ve seen) but just when did japan invade cartoon network? Tom and Jerry, the Smurfs, Looney Tunes? Come on you can’t deny those were good days. Waking up, eating cereal, singing along: Josie and the Pussy Cats, long tails and ears for hats, guitars and all of that... ahhh, good times! I’m just saying can we get an even blend? The only good cartoons come "after hours" (OMG adult swim is the best) none involving good clean fun before eleven, what am I supposed to do in the morning?? I mean I would not at all be opposed to Family Guy and Boondocks coming on first thing in the morning but we all know the chances of this happening are slim.Pre-Dora days. OMG I missem! I have tried to watch Dora the Explorer, I really have but it’s hard for me. Just imagine with me for a second... you are asleep finally when suddenly you hear SALTA! SALTA! COME ON SAY IT! LOUDER! I for one was immediately outraged! Who does she think she is? (You are sooo not the boss of me Dora!) Ummmm I’m pretty sure she’s like seven, I don’t take orders from some random child wandering the jungle with a monkey who wears boots?! And how sure are we that Dora isn’t on something?? Here she is talking to a monkey (which wouldn’t be so bad except for the fact that the monkey talks back), getting directions from her talking map, which she stores in her talking book bag... sounds like an acid trip, and people lets face it, only a druggie would stare a fox in the face and not be afraid. (Swiper can swipe whatever he wants as long as he’s got those chompers)
Days before the reign of reality televison. Ok I have two issues with "reality" tv. 1) It is rarely ever real. In what world does six random people live in a gorgeous, rent-free house and are handed nice jobs no strings attached? Oh yeah not to mention the cameras, I don’t find camera crews and producers "real" at all. (At no point have I gone into the kitchen for a glass of juice to find a drunk woman asleep on the floor and ten guys with cameras standing around) Maybe they should be called What People Do On Camera In Random Awkward Situations tv shows instead. 2) There are WAY too many. I mean I am not even slighlty interested in what goes .. hours" at a senior citizens home, or the fast-paced life of a cashier at the McDonalds drive thru. Its gotta end somewhere folks! What about all of the up and coming creative minds? At the rate we’re going there will be no place for writers, no room fot creativity on televsion.
Professional news and newscasters. What did I miss?? How long have the newscasters been able to wear whatever they want. I turn on the news and see Andrea Camburn wearing hoop earrings and a shirt that flashed quite a bit of her goodies. I thought it was just Andrea but then I noticed Yolanda (remember her from the fox kids days?) wearing a regular green shirt, ummm come on Yolanda! We can’t even get a button -up out of you? Then there’s the fact that they seem to make fun of the news these days. A mother of three accidentally sets her house on fire, they entitled the segment Hot Mama. (I don’t want to laugh but its kinda funny I must admit) Or they’ll say "Deadly car crash...did everyone survive? Find out after these messages." This isn’t American Idol and you aren’t Ryan Seacrest. This is a frickin life or death story soooo not the time to play guessing games!! Oh and I can’t mention the news without stating how pissed I am each and every time I see Lindsay or Brittney on the news. It is not a national crisis when an alcoholic gets drunk... again, or a slut has sex... again. So what if Lindsay crashes her car, I know a guy who crashed his mothers’ car when we were like twelve he certainly did not make the news (and he probably should’ve because the next time we saw him his arm was broken and his mother was strangely calm... I think she did it) What really kills me is how important news will flash across the top of the screen that the world should probably know about. I came home one day last year, turned on a little CNN in attempt to become more informed about the acutal state of our union, only to find news of Anna Nicole’s death. While it was a sad situation I am not sure it should have been on CNN while information about the war and gas prices filed across the bottom of the screen in like 10 pt font.
I miss Pre "law-tv" days. There used to be one or two shows that would be on air at a time, usually on a Sunday night so you can imagine my suprise when I fell alseep watching Family guy on Friday evening and woke up to some kind of crime fighters show. (Don’t punish me because I have nothing to do on a Friday night, sorry I had no plans people it isn’t my fault) I wasn’t upset until I realized that shows were going to keep showing, there must have been at least eight crime fighting, obey the law, mystery solving, who dunnit shows that came on in a row. I know exactly what you’re thinking, "all you had to do was change the channel" I know! I know! The only problem is that these shows give watchers a large dose of pringle fever, once you pop the fun don’t stop.( I mean they wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t so dag on interesting! I can’t seem to look away) I did not want to watch but I could not stop. It was like prison, I was held captive on an emotional roller coaster, laughing and crying, frightened and interested, scared and outraged all at once.
I love television just as much as the next person but come on folks, things are getting outrageous! I for one remember the good days!
The days when you could sit back and watch a good old American game of cat n mouse on a monday morning. Where are all of the ’chase’ shows I used to watch. (Every once in a while a girl just wants to watch a bird blow up a coyote, or a mouse drop a piano on a cat)I love japanimation as much as the next person, I swear I do (some of the best art I’ve seen) but just when did japan invade cartoon network? Tom and Jerry, the Smurfs, Looney Tunes? Come on you can’t deny those were good days. Waking up, eating cereal, singing along: Josie and the Pussy Cats, long tails and ears for hats, guitars and all of that... ahhh, good times! I’m just saying can we get an even blend? The only good cartoons come "after hours" (OMG adult swim is the best) none involving good clean fun before eleven, what am I supposed to do in the morning?? I mean I would not at all be opposed to Family Guy and Boondocks coming on first thing in the morning but we all know the chances of this happening are slim.Pre-Dora days. OMG I missem! I have tried to watch Dora the Explorer, I really have but it’s hard for me. Just imagine with me for a second... you are asleep finally when suddenly you hear SALTA! SALTA! COME ON SAY IT! LOUDER! I for one was immediately outraged! Who does she think she is? (You are sooo not the boss of me Dora!) Ummmm I’m pretty sure she’s like seven, I don’t take orders from some random child wandering the jungle with a monkey who wears boots?! And how sure are we that Dora isn’t on something?? Here she is talking to a monkey (which wouldn’t be so bad except for the fact that the monkey talks back), getting directions from her talking map, which she stores in her talking book bag... sounds like an acid trip, and people lets face it, only a druggie would stare a fox in the face and not be afraid. (Swiper can swipe whatever he wants as long as he’s got those chompers)
Days before the reign of reality televison. Ok I have two issues with "reality" tv. 1) It is rarely ever real. In what world does six random people live in a gorgeous, rent-free house and are handed nice jobs no strings attached? Oh yeah not to mention the cameras, I don’t find camera crews and producers "real" at all. (At no point have I gone into the kitchen for a glass of juice to find a drunk woman asleep on the floor and ten guys with cameras standing around) Maybe they should be called What People Do On Camera In Random Awkward Situations tv shows instead. 2) There are WAY too many. I mean I am not even slighlty interested in what goes .. hours" at a senior citizens home, or the fast-paced life of a cashier at the McDonalds drive thru. Its gotta end somewhere folks! What about all of the up and coming creative minds? At the rate we’re going there will be no place for writers, no room fot creativity on televsion.
Professional news and newscasters. What did I miss?? How long have the newscasters been able to wear whatever they want. I turn on the news and see Andrea Camburn wearing hoop earrings and a shirt that flashed quite a bit of her goodies. I thought it was just Andrea but then I noticed Yolanda (remember her from the fox kids days?) wearing a regular green shirt, ummm come on Yolanda! We can’t even get a button -up out of you? Then there’s the fact that they seem to make fun of the news these days. A mother of three accidentally sets her house on fire, they entitled the segment Hot Mama. (I don’t want to laugh but its kinda funny I must admit) Or they’ll say "Deadly car crash...did everyone survive? Find out after these messages." This isn’t American Idol and you aren’t Ryan Seacrest. This is a frickin life or death story soooo not the time to play guessing games!! Oh and I can’t mention the news without stating how pissed I am each and every time I see Lindsay or Brittney on the news. It is not a national crisis when an alcoholic gets drunk... again, or a slut has sex... again. So what if Lindsay crashes her car, I know a guy who crashed his mothers’ car when we were like twelve he certainly did not make the news (and he probably should’ve because the next time we saw him his arm was broken and his mother was strangely calm... I think she did it) What really kills me is how important news will flash across the top of the screen that the world should probably know about. I came home one day last year, turned on a little CNN in attempt to become more informed about the acutal state of our union, only to find news of Anna Nicole’s death. While it was a sad situation I am not sure it should have been on CNN while information about the war and gas prices filed across the bottom of the screen in like 10 pt font.
I miss Pre "law-tv" days. There used to be one or two shows that would be on air at a time, usually on a Sunday night so you can imagine my suprise when I fell alseep watching Family guy on Friday evening and woke up to some kind of crime fighters show. (Don’t punish me because I have nothing to do on a Friday night, sorry I had no plans people it isn’t my fault) I wasn’t upset until I realized that shows were going to keep showing, there must have been at least eight crime fighting, obey the law, mystery solving, who dunnit shows that came on in a row. I know exactly what you’re thinking, "all you had to do was change the channel" I know! I know! The only problem is that these shows give watchers a large dose of pringle fever, once you pop the fun don’t stop.( I mean they wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t so dag on interesting! I can’t seem to look away) I did not want to watch but I could not stop. It was like prison, I was held captive on an emotional roller coaster, laughing and crying, frightened and interested, scared and outraged all at once.
I love television just as much as the next person but come on folks, things are getting outrageous! I for one remember the good days!
i am phenomenal faith
I have absolutely no idea where to begin so I'll apply a technique an english teacher of mine taught me long ago and will begin at the beginning and end when I'm finished. What?! You got a problem with that?? Good. Moving on... needless to say i am phenomenal faith, that's The Phenomenal Faith- feel free to form opinions right away because I'm destined to change your mind one way or another. Soon you'll find that I'm definitely strange in a [omg that girl's a genius I hope the world realizes before she dies] kind of way.
SO, about me, I am 19, yes- just 19 but that takes nothing from my amazingness. (for those of you who believe that amazingness isn;t a word you're wrong- I made it up a loonng time ago, for those who didn't catch that- obviously you have a lot more learning to do) I do everyhting that I want and only a few things that I don't want, like work. It's weird because I tried my absolute hardest for a year to get a job but couldn't get hired then, I got one and wish I would not have gotten one at all... so is the way of the world. I work a deL!@'s call center which, oddly enough, is where I spend the majority of my time. I'm actually there more often than home. There, I listen to people complain about items they've ordered from our company because they haven't realized the importance of reading terms, conditions, policies, and procedures... I say at least 25 times a day, "Ma'am you can only use one promotion or discount per order" and listen to some forty year old bargain shopper pretend to be shocked when, in reality, every coupon she's ever clipped in her life has only been redeemable alone. I think it's just about selfishness. I mean, if we let every Begging Betty Homemaker use three discounts on her order eventually I'll be out of a job.
Beyond that, I'm an artist. Not the super-cool, I can make anything from anything, spiritual, I work with my hands, type of artist but the, geez I hope I can get good enough to make a super sweet portfolio to get into art school so that I can become one of those super-cool I can make anything from anything, spiritual, I work with my hands type of artists. I also am a writer, the type of writer that wants to be just as amazing if not better than THE Zora Neale Hurston- the best folklorist in history. It's weird because each of my siblings are musicians as along with two of my very close friends and I'm the odd ball, but I think I like it. It just is a reminder that I am very different from everyone else I know which means there is no structure for me, no mold- I'm red paint splashed across a white surface.
It took a long time to get here but one day after a lifetime of being slightly uneasy about it I realized, I can do what I want, then I did and I liked it, and I don't plan to stop ever, not ever. I share everything I want whether I'm asked or not. iamphenomenalfaith, get to know me.
SO, about me, I am 19, yes- just 19 but that takes nothing from my amazingness. (for those of you who believe that amazingness isn;t a word you're wrong- I made it up a loonng time ago, for those who didn't catch that- obviously you have a lot more learning to do) I do everyhting that I want and only a few things that I don't want, like work. It's weird because I tried my absolute hardest for a year to get a job but couldn't get hired then, I got one and wish I would not have gotten one at all... so is the way of the world. I work a deL!@'s call center which, oddly enough, is where I spend the majority of my time. I'm actually there more often than home. There, I listen to people complain about items they've ordered from our company because they haven't realized the importance of reading terms, conditions, policies, and procedures... I say at least 25 times a day, "Ma'am you can only use one promotion or discount per order" and listen to some forty year old bargain shopper pretend to be shocked when, in reality, every coupon she's ever clipped in her life has only been redeemable alone. I think it's just about selfishness. I mean, if we let every Begging Betty Homemaker use three discounts on her order eventually I'll be out of a job.
Beyond that, I'm an artist. Not the super-cool, I can make anything from anything, spiritual, I work with my hands, type of artist but the, geez I hope I can get good enough to make a super sweet portfolio to get into art school so that I can become one of those super-cool I can make anything from anything, spiritual, I work with my hands type of artists. I also am a writer, the type of writer that wants to be just as amazing if not better than THE Zora Neale Hurston- the best folklorist in history. It's weird because each of my siblings are musicians as along with two of my very close friends and I'm the odd ball, but I think I like it. It just is a reminder that I am very different from everyone else I know which means there is no structure for me, no mold- I'm red paint splashed across a white surface.
It took a long time to get here but one day after a lifetime of being slightly uneasy about it I realized, I can do what I want, then I did and I liked it, and I don't plan to stop ever, not ever. I share everything I want whether I'm asked or not. iamphenomenalfaith, get to know me.
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