I Remember...

I remember...The days when companies used terms like "the other guys" when advertising their products. Somehow within the last few years things have gotten pretty gully, mcdonalds vs burger king vs wendys, advil vs tylenol, every brand for itself! I was immediately disturbed by Advil’s decision to attack Tylenol pm. I use Tylenol and its not that bad. I felt attacked like Advil was pretty much saying "hey you’re stupid if you don’t use our brand". I mean even car insurance companies are just calling each other out. I just watched allstate try to get at geico... now geico has to retaliate or they’re going out like punks.... what is the world coming to?? Why so cut-throat?? At the rate we’re going aunt jemima is gonna be wrestling mrs butterworth next week, and toucan sam will be taking pecks at cap’n crunch!

The days when you could sit back and watch a good old American game of cat n mouse on a monday morning. Where are all of the ’chase’ shows I used to watch. (Every once in a while a girl just wants to watch a bird blow up a coyote, or a mouse drop a piano on a cat)I love japanimation as much as the next person, I swear I do (some of the best art I’ve seen) but just when did japan invade cartoon network? Tom and Jerry, the Smurfs, Looney Tunes? Come on you can’t deny those were good days. Waking up, eating cereal, singing along: Josie and the Pussy Cats, long tails and ears for hats, guitars and all of that... ahhh, good times! I’m just saying can we get an even blend? The only good cartoons come "after hours" (OMG adult swim is the best) none involving good clean fun before eleven, what am I supposed to do in the morning?? I mean I would not at all be opposed to Family Guy and Boondocks coming on first thing in the morning but we all know the chances of this happening are slim.Pre-Dora days. OMG I missem! I have tried to watch Dora the Explorer, I really have but it’s hard for me. Just imagine with me for a second... you are asleep finally when suddenly you hear SALTA! SALTA! COME ON SAY IT! LOUDER! I for one was immediately outraged! Who does she think she is? (You are sooo not the boss of me Dora!) Ummmm I’m pretty sure she’s like seven, I don’t take orders from some random child wandering the jungle with a monkey who wears boots?! And how sure are we that Dora isn’t on something?? Here she is talking to a monkey (which wouldn’t be so bad except for the fact that the monkey talks back), getting directions from her talking map, which she stores in her talking book bag... sounds like an acid trip, and people lets face it, only a druggie would stare a fox in the face and not be afraid. (Swiper can swipe whatever he wants as long as he’s got those chompers)

Days before the reign of reality televison. Ok I have two issues with "reality" tv. 1) It is rarely ever real. In what world does six random people live in a gorgeous, rent-free house and are handed nice jobs no strings attached? Oh yeah not to mention the cameras, I don’t find camera crews and producers "real" at all. (At no point have I gone into the kitchen for a glass of juice to find a drunk woman asleep on the floor and ten guys with cameras standing around) Maybe they should be called What People Do On Camera In Random Awkward Situations tv shows instead. 2) There are WAY too many. I mean I am not even slighlty interested in what goes .. hours" at a senior citizens home, or the fast-paced life of a cashier at the McDonalds drive thru. Its gotta end somewhere folks! What about all of the up and coming creative minds? At the rate we’re going there will be no place for writers, no room fot creativity on televsion.

Professional news and newscasters. What did I miss?? How long have the newscasters been able to wear whatever they want. I turn on the news and see Andrea Camburn wearing hoop earrings and a shirt that flashed quite a bit of her goodies. I thought it was just Andrea but then I noticed Yolanda (remember her from the fox kids days?) wearing a regular green shirt, ummm come on Yolanda! We can’t even get a button -up out of you? Then there’s the fact that they seem to make fun of the news these days. A mother of three accidentally sets her house on fire, they entitled the segment Hot Mama. (I don’t want to laugh but its kinda funny I must admit) Or they’ll say "Deadly car crash...did everyone survive? Find out after these messages." This isn’t American Idol and you aren’t Ryan Seacrest. This is a frickin life or death story soooo not the time to play guessing games!! Oh and I can’t mention the news without stating how pissed I am each and every time I see Lindsay or Brittney on the news. It is not a national crisis when an alcoholic gets drunk... again, or a slut has sex... again. So what if Lindsay crashes her car, I know a guy who crashed his mothers’ car when we were like twelve he certainly did not make the news (and he probably should’ve because the next time we saw him his arm was broken and his mother was strangely calm... I think she did it) What really kills me is how important news will flash across the top of the screen that the world should probably know about. I came home one day last year, turned on a little CNN in attempt to become more informed about the acutal state of our union, only to find news of Anna Nicole’s death. While it was a sad situation I am not sure it should have been on CNN while information about the war and gas prices filed across the bottom of the screen in like 10 pt font.

I miss Pre "law-tv" days. There used to be one or two shows that would be on air at a time, usually on a Sunday night so you can imagine my suprise when I fell alseep watching Family guy on Friday evening and woke up to some kind of crime fighters show. (Don’t punish me because I have nothing to do on a Friday night, sorry I had no plans people it isn’t my fault) I wasn’t upset until I realized that shows were going to keep showing, there must have been at least eight crime fighting, obey the law, mystery solving, who dunnit shows that came on in a row. I know exactly what you’re thinking, "all you had to do was change the channel" I know! I know! The only problem is that these shows give watchers a large dose of pringle fever, once you pop the fun don’t stop.( I mean they wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t so dag on interesting! I can’t seem to look away) I did not want to watch but I could not stop. It was like prison, I was held captive on an emotional roller coaster, laughing and crying, frightened and interested, scared and outraged all at once.

I love television just as much as the next person but come on folks, things are getting outrageous! I for one remember the good days!